I was probably playing with my favorite Han Solo and Chewbacca action figures at the time. I couldn’t have cared less about some dumb race. And I lived just over two hours from Boston.

Folks, if this doesn’t give you chills; If this doesn’t get you psyched for Boston — you need defibrillation.

- Dean

BARACK OBAMA
America, the Boston Marathon is upon us, and I’m running. I’m running for hope and I’m running for change.

JOHN McCAIN
I can think of no finer thing to do on Patriot’s Day.

HILLARY CLINTON
While at Wellesley, I cheered the heroic runners of the Boston Marathon. I was there when Tarzan Brown rallied to beat John Kelley.

BARACK OBAMA
In the face of great distance, we see opportunity. In the face of heartbreak hill, we see a better future. In the face of hyponatremia, we see properly managed sodium levels.

BILL CLINTON
I never did finish that marathon; couldn’t get past the Wellesley girls.

JOHN McCAIN
So you ended up marrying the Wellesley girl that cheered for you?

BARACK OBAMA
I have heard freedom’s call. I have felt the winds of change.

BILL CLINTON
Hillary was at Wellesley?

BARACK OBAMA
I have felt the wind of freedom. I have heard the call for change.

JOHN McCAIN
Many commendable American patriots attended Wellesley. All uphold the fine, upstanding values of the Boston Athletic Association.

RON PAUL
If victorious at Boston, I promise to dismantle the bureaucratic and unconstitutional Boston Athletic Association.

JOHN McCAIN
Destroying the BAA will only make us more vulnerable to dangerous terrorist attacks.

HILLARY CLINTON
I once ran Boston, paced by Sir Edmund Hillary. We came under sniper fire in Newton, and barely escaped with our lives.

BARACK OBAMA
I don’t run this race alone. In this decisive moment of history; in this dawn of a new era as a nation, we run as one people.

HILLARY CLINTON
That harrowing experience filled me with the desire to become the Senator for the great state of Massachusetts.

JOHN McCAIN
You’re the Senator from New York.

HILLARY CLINTON
Whatever.

BARACK OBAMA
Though we’ll grow weary in Newton, we will persevere. Though Cemetery Mile, we will not lose heart. Though our glycogen levels may become dangerously low in Brighton, we will finish this race.

JOHN McCAIN
Though I may have an acute myocardial infarction as early as Framingham, I will drag my battered body inch by torturous inch until I reach the finish.

GEORGE W. BUSH
You can do it Sparky. Heck in a handbasket, I ran a 3:44 in Houston. That takes guts. That takes tenacity. That takes stubbornocity.

HILLARY CLINTON
That’s not even a word.

GEORGE W. BUSH
Oh yeah, right. I meant “tenacitation.”

JOHN McCAIN
Friends, if by my death I can keep us secure from terrorists bent on diminishing our national physical fitness, I will humbly serve.

BARACK OBAMA
When we cross that finish line…

JOHN McCAIN
Friends, I don’t appear to have the funds for the entry fee.

BARACK OBAMA
…And when I say we I really mean me…

JOHN McCAIN
I could run as a bandit; a renegade.

BARACK OBAMA
…When we break the tape at Copley Square, I’ll be thankful our moment has come; thankful for your tireless help; thankful for my Kenyan Ancestry.

HILLARY CLINTON
Have I mentioned that it wasn’t easy being the first woman to run Boston?

JOHN McCAIN
Friends, does anyone have body glide?

In my never-ending quest to win SOMETHING associated with the North Pole Marathon, I’ve taken up winner Bobby Bostic’s side contest. He seeks ideas for the creative use of PowerBar products at the Pole. The winner gets a whole bunch of PowerBar stuff.

I suggested that Bobby make colorful, festive snow cones for all racers using the PowerBar Beverage System. It’s like tasty SWAG. Everyone likes SWAG.

Anyway, I made the final five. Now the vote is up to the public. You can vote for my idea over at Yourrunning.com, but you have to go through the bother of registering. That just seems like a big fuss. Heck, I think YOU ARE MIGHTY just for visiting my little corner of the blogoverse.

- Dean

The North Pole Marathon contest has been decided. Had I won, you would have already been alerted by my primal scream. Alas, I shall not run the Pole this April. I didn’t realize just how earnestly I wanted to go until the official announcement. However, vocal chords intact, I take solace in a few facts:

The winner is cool.
Bobby Bostic, is decidedly worthy. He’s a stellar runner from Oakland who gives his time and energy to a wonderful charity, Challenged Athletes Foundation.

I’ve expanded my horizons.
The hoopla about the North Pole Marathon has opened my eyes to the possibilities of adventure marathoning. Angie, I should warn you that I’ll be doing this sort of thing now.

A Cameo
Though I didn’t win the contest, I did appear ever so briefly in the Announcement video. That has to count for something.

Pole Blog ready for 2008
I’ve just had a blast with my contest BLOG, RUN THE POLE. It will remain active as a record of my earnest attempt to win the contest. That, and it will await revival next year for the 2008 race, contest or no. I am currently welcoming serious inquires from prospective sponsors. Really.

Coffee Anyone?
I may yet win something. I entered a supplementary contest with Pixie Mate, describing what I’d do to stay warm at the Pole. I suggested Science Fiction and Kittens. Anyway, the prize is a coffee gift basket. It would be an extremely small consolation in comparison to running the Pole, but heck, I’ll take what I can get. It’s just a shame that I don’t drink caffeinated beverages.

The Best Part
Mostly, I have been deeply touched by the outpouring of support I’ve been given. I can’t begin to thank everyone for the help, wonderful comments, enthusiasm, encouragement, and flat-out belief that I could do it. It’s both remarkably energizing and sincerely humbling. I set out to try and run the Pole, to win a contest. I received far more.

Thank-you.

Since Boston will have to wait until 2008, I’ve got a free weekend in the middle of April. What to do? How about a great northern adventure? It just so happens that the North Pole Marathon is held on April 15th. Yeah, the geographic North Pole; You know, top of the world, vast ice sheet, Robert Peary, Santa; The real deal.

Yourrunning.com is sponsoring a North Pole Marathon contest, and I’m entering with guns blazing. The winner gets entry to the race (including travel) and must complete a multi-media journal of the experience. Since I want the judges to know I’m serious, I’ve set up a full-blown blog called “Run the Pole.” It’s been active since January 8th. Please visit and enjoy. It’s like Zero to Boston, just colder. And there’s video.

Those who know me know that I’d jump feet-first at the chance to do something like this. I never once thought of NOT giving this a try. I am transfixed by the possibility of running on top of the world. I’m quite beside myself.

Besides journaling the experience, and raising awareness for International Polar Year (focusing on climate change and the Arctic), I’d be running to support a cause called the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation of America. It’s not a well-known charity. Of course, Crohn’s is not a well-known disease. It’s chronic, has no cure and several of my friends have it. I want to help them. This is a stellar opportunity to do just that.

My official contest entry is posted publicly at Yourrunning.com soon. Comments from supporters are welcome (scroll to the bottom of the screen), so I shamelessly beg for your help! Post a comment! Ask the judges to pick me!