I almost forgot to mention a delightful experience at the Kiawah marathon. Kiawah is held in a gated community, and runners were quite alone for the bulk of the race. It was refreshing to finally see spectators at the mile 13 turn-around point.
My children were there, and had created encouraging posters and chalk designs (subversively defacing the upscale community’s pavement). Focused, I could not read the signs as I ran by. Only after the race did I see them in full. Of course they were lovely. But I was particularly struck by what my youngest son (age four) created.
He would accept no help for his poster. He wanted it to be his unique contribution to race-day signage. I’m not sure how to respond to this, but he adamantly stated that the poster was not for me. It was for all of the runners. So he had held it aloft for some time to encourage the most people possible.
There’s just something precious about a sign created by an individual who cannot yet read or write. I don’t know what I enjoyed most; his earnest desire to personally encourage runners in his own way, the hilariously indecipherable art, or his determination to hold it up for as many runners as possible.
Well met, boy!
Boss,
The last time we checked, we were the servants of the brain.
If you watch late night cable TV at all you must be aware that the human body can often perform beyond expected capabilities, even under duress. You might also have noticed that dogged resolve (Dare we say “will power?”) has a great deal to do with this. Furthermore, you are responsible for higher brain functions. By extension, this includes responsibility for training regimen, nutrition, sleep patterns, and race-day preparation.
Life is about choices. Should you have willed greater performance, perhaps we could have delivered. If you had more determination, perhaps you chould have responded differently to calf discomfort. We thought you liked basketball. Would Bobby Knight have tolerated this lackadasical approach to limb management?
Perhaps you’re just upset at yourself.
Your faithful servants,
the legs
Gentlemen,
We’ve just finished the Kiawah marathon and now is the time to reflect on your performance. Alas, with a 3:31, we did not qualify for Boston today. However, I have word from the cerebral cortex that our chin is up, and the outlook for the future is still unflinchingly positive. This being said, we must dole out praise or scorn where justified.
The Feet
Another excellent job. You have endured the pounding of the marathon with no ill effects, discomfort, blisters, or pain of any kind. There are more Thorlos socks in your future.
The areobic system
Once again, you have performed above and beyond the call of duty. You had a near perfect race and easily could have propelled us to an ultra. You should write a book. Can we have your autograph?
And now for the legs.
You started well, but your perfromance from miles 17-20 left much to be desired, though at that point we were still on track. From that point things got worse. We feel betrayed by your lack of verve, strength, and endurance. Are you angry? Have we offended you? Perhaps you should have channeled these feelings into something more productive, like going faster despite the pain. This may sound blunt, but without honesty, how will we grow?
At least you also avoided any injuries. thanks.
Sincerely,
Dean
Mile – 26
Final Time – 3:31ish”On the Scene” Report: Jason says, “This will be my last post. I’m afraid that Dean is going to suffer a similar fate as so many others: Michael Dukakis, Dr. Octavius, Wile E. Coyote for example. Even the best laid plans do not always work to perfection: ask General Custer, John Kerry, or the lab mouse known as the Brain.”
Mile – 23
Split - 2:55:40
Current Pace – 7:38
Projected Finish – 3:20:06
“On the Scene” Report
Jason says, “Charles says he is really slipping over the past couple of miles, coming in around an 8 minute split. In similar news, the cell phone is running out of juice. I’m afraid my wit is also suffering, but not from fatigue as I sit comfortably in my Spartanburg home. We need to breathe life into our hero, so at exactly 11am Eastern time, I suggest we all face the East and blow as hard as we can to give him a good tail wind.”
Mile – 20
Split - 2:29:50
Current Pace – 7:29
Projected Finish – 3:16:16
“On the Scene” Report
Jason says, “Our first bit of bad news for our hero. RUN, FORREST, RUN! Maybe if we get one of those battery operated rechargers, he will hit his second wind. I probably shouldn’t remind him that the TPS reports are due on the boss’ desk Monday morning.”
