Plainspoken Inspiration of the Street Race Poets
I appreciate the marathon fan that goes out of his or her way to encourage runners. Having suffered through many races, I know how immensely helpful this can be.
Three cheers if the fan goes through the trouble to handcraft a sign: the icing on the cake of robust support. Naturally, I look forward to witty signage. But the best marathon posters aren’t merely clever. They reveal a deeper understanding of the runner’s journey… of the runner’s pain. They exist at the intersection of creativity and understanding.
Marathon Noir
2007 St. George Marathon | Photos by sabrebelle courtesy of Flickr.
I’ve always believed morticians were secretly whimsical. You can’t take yourself too seriously if you apply cosmetics to dead folk all day. At once inspiring and hilariously morbid, these signs would take my mind off the pain of long distance running. More businesses should cultivate darkly comedic marathon support.
I can only imagine what similarly grim humor embalmers might hoist upon marathon runners:
Mile 21
Got guts?
Mile 23
Nothing Lasts Forever!
Mile 25
Want your mummy?
Refreshing Candor
2007 Las Vegas Marathon | Photo by Dawn – Pick Chick courtesy of Flickr.
That’s right, no one made you get up at four in the morning in the dead of winter. No one made you cough up a lung during speed work. You are responsible for your shin splints, planar fasciitis, tendonitis, stress fracture or groin pull. The stressed relationships, funky laundry and graveyard of shoes belong to you alone. Timothy Geithner didn’t fund your training. No one held a gun to your head and made you run the marathon.
You were this stupid all by yourself.
Good for you.
E Tu Wellesley?
2008 Boston Marathon | Photo by dengaterade courtesy of Flickr.
Motivation comes in so many forms, especially at the Boston Marathon’s infamous Wellesley “Scream tunnel.” To wit, right after you kiss this enthusiastic coed, the girl in the dark shades punches you square in the mouth.
Classic bait and switch, really.
Open to Interpretation
2008 New York City Marathon | Photo by whas courtesy of Flickr.
Option 1
You too can come out of nowhere, rise despite the odds and become an inspiration to others.
Option 2
If a remote, unknown provincialist can find herself on the Presidential ticket, surely you can do damn near anything.
Either way, you’re inspired.
Stark Militarism
2007 New York City Marathon | Photo by Library Maven courtesy of Flickr.
Meet Marine Gunnery Sergeant Hartman’s civilian brother and scourge of marathoners. Don’t drop out of the race in front of this dude. His maniacal cohorts might burst from the crowd to beat you senseless. You’d certainly endure an expletive-laden tirade. Stanley Kubrick would have loved this guy.
But perhaps he just understands runners.
Deep inside the marathoner’s psyche, lies a core uncertainty. “Can I do this?†“Will I fail?†But runners are also fiercely determined. Resolve and fear exist in parallel and war for the runner’s mind. This simple poster indirectly acknowledges the fear and bluntly shuts it out, offering only stern defiance – the very thing a runner needs to achieve their goal.
This may be the most singularly insightful and blisteringly motivational marathon poster I’ve yet seen.
For those who’ve seen it in person: As soon as the nightmares pass, you should be fine.
Hialriously Indecipherable
2006 Kiawah Island Marathon | Photo by Angie.
This is my all time favorite marathon poster. Who needs coherent signage when one has access to the creative innocence of a four-year-old mind? Only this boy knows what his scribblings mean. There’s an guileless beauty in his determination.
At least he was clear on the fundamentals; marathoners need encouragement, even if they’re too tired to translate.
– Dean
April 9th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Kissing the Yankees fan might be worth it, depending on the mile. Great stuff.
April 10th, 2009 at 5:23 am
Great post, love the last one myself. I guess that’s the dad in me.
E
April 10th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Well, Jesse that sign was found in Wellesley “scream tunnel”, about the half-way point of the Boston Marathon.
What happens there stays there.
– D
April 10th, 2009 at 9:21 am
would the person lurking in the dark waiting to punch you in the mouth at Wellesley be any chance….your wife?
April 10th, 2009 at 9:28 am
HA HA HA HA
No, Angie waited for me at the Finish in downtown Boston. She also made me promise not to kiss anyone at Wellesley!
She was just looking out for my glass jaw.
– D
April 10th, 2009 at 9:29 am
I’ve ran Kiawah and can tell you what that last sign is. Clearly, it is the Kiawah Course Map.
The only course, outside of Formula 1, with more chicanes and hairpins than the current double lap Kiawah course is the old single lap Kiawah course.
I can only imagine the race directors had the cryptologist who developed the Enigma during WWII, or maybe the super chess computer Deep Blue, figure out that how to squeeze the race on such a small skinny island. Or maybe they just had that kid in the picture do lay it out with an Etch-a-Sketch?
April 10th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Hilarious.
Thankfully, Kiawah makes up for it’s byzantine course with extreme flatness.
– D
April 10th, 2009 at 9:43 am
Love reading race signs… even when they’re not intended for me! With my first marathon next month, I hope there will be many, and some good ones like these! Love the finishing one, will have to keep that in mind 😀
April 10th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
I always love a good sign. These examples rock!
August 3rd, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Enjoyed the read. Loved your “rewrite”!
December 31st, 2009 at 11:09 am
Well written!