America, the Boston Marathon is upon us, and Iâ€™m running. Iâ€™m running for hope and Iâ€™m running for change.
I can think of no finer thing to do on Patriotâ€™s Day.
While at Wellesley, I cheered the heroic runners of the Boston Marathon. I was there when Tarzan Brown rallied to beat John Kelley.
In the face of great distance, we see opportunity. In the face of heartbreak hill, we see a better future. In the face of hyponatremia, we see properly managed sodium levels.
I never did finish that marathon; couldnâ€™t get past the Wellesley girls.
So you ended up marrying the Wellesley girl that cheered for you?
I have heard freedomâ€™s call. I have felt the winds of change.
Hillary was at Wellesley?
I have felt the wind of freedom. I have heard the call for change.
Many commendable American patriots attended Wellesley. All uphold the fine, upstanding values of the Boston Athletic Association.
If victorious at Boston, I promise to dismantle the bureaucratic and unconstitutional Boston Athletic Association.
Destroying the BAA will only make us more vulnerable to dangerous terrorist attacks.
I once ran Boston, paced by Sir Edmund Hillary. We came under sniper fire in Newton, and barely escaped with our lives.
I donâ€™t run this race alone. In this decisive moment of history; in this dawn of a new era as a nation, we run as one people.
That harrowing experience filled me with the desire to become the Senator for the great state of Massachusetts.
Youâ€™re the Senator from New York.
Though weâ€™ll grow weary in Newton, we will persevere. Though Cemetery Mile, we will not lose heart. Though our glycogen levels may become dangerously low in Brighton, we will finish this race.
Though I may have an acute myocardial infarction as early as Framingham, I will drag my battered body inch by torturous inch until I reach the finish.
GEORGE W. BUSH
You can do it Sparky. Heck in a handbasket, I ran a 3:44 in Houston. That takes guts. That takes tenacity. That takes stubbornocity.
Thatâ€™s not even a word.
GEORGE W. BUSH
Oh yeah, right. I meant â€œtenacitation.â€
Friends, if by my death I can keep us secure from terrorists bent on diminishing our national physical fitness, I will humbly serve.
When we cross that finish lineâ€¦
Friends, I donâ€™t appear to have the funds for the entry fee.
â€¦And when I say we I really mean meâ€¦
I could run as a bandit; a renegade.
â€¦When we break the tape at Copley Square, Iâ€™ll be thankful our moment has come; thankful for your tireless help; thankful for my Kenyan Ancestry.
Have I mentioned that it wasnâ€™t easy being the first woman to run Boston?
Friends, does anyone have body glide?
April 11th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Many thanks to “Rick – The Other White Meat” for the inspiration. And to DaneRunsaLot for GW’s vocabulary.
April 11th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Stubbornocity is SO a word!
April 11th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Awesome Dean, truly awesome. I just provided a germ of an idea, you made it hilarious.
Next time we drink, I say we raise a toast and drink to stubbornocity !!!
And I’m not positive, but I think I was George W. last year congratulating some runners around mile 17 or 18 with a big ‘Mission Accomplished’ sign !
April 12th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Much more interesting than reading your tax return.
April 14th, 2008 at 11:06 am
OK. I’m hooked. Now have to make this site one of my daily reads. Thanks soooooooooo much for the laughs.
April 15th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Quite brilliant, you crack me up! Good luck next Monday.
BTW, if you ever get bored with marathons, please consider running and blogging in our ultrarunning sub-subculture.
April 15th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Sorry hadn’t noticed earlier– just read the reports for your Hitchcock Woods 50k last year (congrats). Even though you haven’t converted (yet), looks like you had fun.
April 15th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
I’ve also completed the Mount Mitchell Challenge, 40 miles (mostly trails) up and down the tallest peak East of the Mississippi.
I’m running a 34 mile Trail race on May 4th.
So yeah… ultra me up!
April 17th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
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